I held back the tears until I made it to the bathroom. As soon as I made it through the bathroom door the tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. It was one of those moments I couldn't stop my tears from falling even if someone had paid me a million bucks. I started praying for her. I asked God to comfort her, to take her into His healing hands and soothe her pain. I begged and pleaded with Him to give me the pain rather than her. I asked for His will to be done in her life, but most of all for His mercy and peace on her soul. Her lonely soul. Her widowed soul; because her soulmate of 47 years had flown Home, to be with Jesus in heaven, too soon, and...without her. It all was so real, and I couldn't quite imagine her pain.
I went to lunch with my parents. It was a happy day. My parents were in a great mood. We were all laughing and cuttin up with eachother. Now see, I am the type of person that is extremely aware of my surroundings at all times. Cautious, I guess you could say so. Aware of other peoples pain and expressions, I guess you could say I read people well. Well there was a sweet, little old lady sitting in the booth across from us. I noticed her watching us intently. I noticed her smiling while my parents laughed and danced in the booth jokingly. I noticed her smile and than look down to continue eating. At that very moment, it was like someone took a needle and pricked it on my hearts most sensitive part. I felt the pain behind her eyes. I could feel the loneliness that surrounded her. I could see the admiration in her longing eyes that were windows to the memories of her long lived, happy past.
Before I knew it, she sparked conversation. "Where do ya'll go to church?" she said softly but desperately. Desperately wanting a conversation, probably just to talk. We replied. She went on to talk about where she attends church and how her husband was director of their church choir for over 40 years. She went on to brag about the amazing musician he was and the talent he had helped groom. My parents couldn't hear her as well as I could, but I tell you what. I heard every word. I let every word she said sink in. I smiled and laughed at her, so she knew I was very tuned into what she was saying. I wanted her to feel like my listening was sincere. After a couple stories we went back to eating.
Out of nowhere she says, "My husband passed away of cancer, I miss him so much, everyday." The pain in her eyes and the tears swelling up as I tried my best to comfort her from a far, hit a nerve with me. I held back my tears. She started to tell us stories about what an amazing, wonderful man he was. She began to tell me a story I'll never, ever forget...
"I was in the kitchen one day, cooking dinner for the family, just mindin my own business. When all of a sudden my husband came up behind me and put his arms around my waist, turned me around and looked me dead in the eye and said 'honey, I just want you to know how much I love you and adore you. I never thought I would find someone who loved me for who I really am.' "
A tear fell down her face, but she smiled. She began to say, "I miss him everyday. He was the best man I've ever known. He was really my best friend. It's been since 2000 I've been without him, but I still miss him dearly."
Wow. 10 years? I was under the impression it had happened recently. I tried to contain my composure. I let her finish her story than excused myself to the restroom. That's when I began to cry and pray for her. After realizing I had probably been gone too long, I wiped my eyes, patted my face with water, and I went back to the table. My father excused himself to pay the bill. The lady than looked at my Mother with the utmost glowing, beautiful, honesty I've ever seen. And she said, "Don't ever take one day for granted with your husband. You just never know when he'll be gone."
This lady was one of those moments when God kinda bops you on the head. It's one of those blessings in disguise. Little does this woman know, but she changed my life. I think what sparked her conversation was her seeing my parents together. Smiling, laughing, having fun. It made her reminisce on her days of joy with the love of her life.
I've grown up so much the past couple years. I truly used to think love was about the romance. Kinda like how the movies consistently portray love. But I have learned whole heartedly, that's just a silly fairy tale, and we all know fairy tales do not exist. True love is this story, right here. It is the pure, real love this woman had for her husband, and the love he had for her. Their marriage that lasted until "death do us part", and even 10 years after his death, the love she still carries for him and only him. The foundation of best friends before lovers. The never giving up, even if they wanted to. This is love. And man, it's amazing to see from this angle! So I can only imagine what it's like to live and truly feel it.
It left me wide eyed to love. It proved to me what REALLY MATTERS. Out of everything they ever did together (and keep in mind they were together 47 years), but out of everything, when she decided to tell us about their love and the type of man he was, she told us the simplest, yet most beautiful story of them all. When he grabbed her unexpectedly and confessed his love and gratitude towards her. That is so real, and still gives me chills to think about.
I think we all need to be left wide eyed every now and than. To remind us what makes this world turn. What drives us to want and need a lover. We were created to love. We were created to have a companion to share life with and to love forever. It's not the fancy nights out, the romantic getaways, or the materialistic things they bought together that she remembers...it's the simple, yet breath taking way he loved her. So real and honest. True soulmates, a love that last...forever.
xoxo
Jesus loves you and so do I.
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